I’m nev­er one to reveal too much online. At least most of the time I try not to, but damn I’m feel­ing incred­i­bly stressed out late­ly. I’ve men­tioned my new meds kick­ing my ass already… got a bill for call­ing the ambu­lance for myself a few weeks ago, its not all that much but yay anoth­er bill and $50 I could have eas­i­ly used else­where. I’m feel­ing so over­whelmed right now and I’m just strug­gling to get through each day with­out the meds knock­ing my ass out. My mate is strug­gling and I have done all I can, but I don’t know what more I can do, it’s not real­ly my place to talk about her dif­fi­cul­ties right now either.

Today, I need to head back into the office. Just more stress on top of stress. I know I’m rant­i­ng but I real­ly feel there is lit­tle I can do to escape what’s going on. I’ve looked into ther­a­py as well, of course, that costs unless its direct­ly through a doc­tor, so I’ll be talk­ing with my doc on my next appoint­ment in less than a week. I fell asleep yes­ter­day by 9:30 PM… wak­ing up this morn­ing at 6 AM. It’s bare­ly 7:30 now and hon­est­ly, if I closed my eyes I prob­a­bly would fall asleep again. Every day is get­ting hard­er and hard­er just to get through it. Three more days until the week­end… Then two days to catch up on every­thing before hav­ing to start all over again. I’ve not been in much of a con­di­tion to do any work around the house late­ly… yes­ter­day, I was strug­gling just to stay awake. I stopped by a clin­ic and the doc there agreed that its side effects of the new meds but its not for him to decide to take me off of it… He just gave me some stuff to deal with at least some of the more unpleas­ant side effects but since noth­ing is life-threat­en­ing right now, I just need to keep on until I can talk to my reg­u­lar doc­tor about it…

Even writ­ing about all of this stuff is exhaust­ing. How can I func­tion when every 2 hours I feel like I need a nap? less than 30 min­utes until I start my shift. Maybe today will be dif­fer­ent. Got to keep on try­ing and hoping…